Let’s talk about the so-called invisible workload of women who do too much and expect to be rewarded for it.
Stop!
It’s never gonna happen my darling beautiful precious GirlFriend. Your invisible workload is not going to get you a reward. Ever. Because no one sees it, not even you.
Think about all the mental gyrations you do just thinking about what needs to be done, let alone going out and doing it all. To wit:
- Getting your children to stay in touch with their grandparents.
- Staying in touch with relatives.
- Remembering family birthdays, buying gifts and sending cards.
- Holiday presents and cards.
- Sending thank you notes.
- School lunches.
- School holidays.
- Babysitters.
- Planning and organizing family celebrations.
- Planning family vacays.
- Kids’ clothes, what to wear, how they need to dress for certain occasions, what have they outgrown, shopping.
What have I missed?
My point is NOT that “men need to do more” or that people should appreciate this invisible work we do.
My point is that we need to do less or negotiate with your partner, or hire a housekeeper or keep on doing it IF it feels good to do so. Otherwise, STOP!
This invisible workload we take on keeps us in a role that FEELS like we’re everyone’s servant.
I used to tell my husband I wasn’t his secretary. He had no idea what I was talking about.
Of course he didn’t, and it wasn’t his fault, it was mine. No one handed me the workload, I took it on, unconsciously, because girls/women have been taught to believe that’s where our worth is.
I’m guilty of this. When I became aware of my invisible burden, it was like a slap upside the head: I took care of ALL those things and yet I wasn’t giving myself the same level of care.
So… let’s change that. For ourselves, and for the girls coming up behind us.It starts with taking care of our bodies, because our bodies know better than our minds and the mistaken belief that doing more means we are worth more.
So, what else is on your “invisible work load” list? Identify it and decide whether YOU want to take it on with pleasure, or let it go.
This is how we Woman UP!
In love and guts,
Lin E
