HELLO, MY NAME IS LIN AND I AM A SUGAR ADDICT
As counterintuitive as it may sound, sugar is making me a better woman.
I’ve been “off sugar” for several weeks now… six weeks, 2 days, and 8 hours, to be exact. (I’m not counting the reflexive bite I took out of my daughter’s ooey-gooey apple fritter last week because I caught myself and spit it out. Ha!)
These are the confessions of an otherwise strong and capable woman who turns to complete and utter mush at the site of a freshly baked apple fritter dripping in glazed icing. (I’m salivating as I write this. My computer keyboard is a mess.)
Here’s what’s been fascinating about breaking up with sugar and the accompanying physical withdrawal (that never seems to end!): BREAKING UP WITH SUGAR IS MAKING ME A BETTER WOMAN.
SUGAR IS MAKING ME THINK. IT’S ALSO MAKING ME A LITTLE CRAZY, ESPECIALLY WHEN MY CHILDREN TRY TO TEST MY RESILIENCE BY OFFERING ME PEANUT BUTTER CUPS.
KIDS!
Here’s how the craziness manifests in my mind:. Go with me on this — humor the sugar-starved woman who hallucinates that there are chocolate eclairs having sex and making more chocolate eclairs that taunt me to eat them. (Yeah, it’s like that in my head on some most almost every single day.)
Science has proven sugar to be as addictive as cocaine, right? But I hypothesize that we can become addicted to the way we “think-feel-do” our lives. (If you’re a scientist, I apologize. I have no scientific methods up my sleeve to prove my point, so just go with me for a sec, ok?).
I really do wonder if we can become so accustomed to thinking-feeling-doing our lives a certain way that our patterns become as strong as an addiction. After all, our behaviors are often the result of feeling helpless and powerless… you know, like when we were six (and actually helpless and powerless).
For example:
Some people are addicted to saying No. No matter how enticing the offer, no matter how exciting or promising or truly amazing the opportunity, they will say No. No matter how beautifully the dress fits, no matter how low the price is, no matter who will be going to the party, the answer is always No.
Some people are quick to judge people who say No a lot. (I’m fixing that. No really.)
Some people are addicted to thinking they need to be with certain people who hurt them because they fear they cannot live without them.
Some people are quick to say, “Just leave.” But that’s like saying, “Just quit.” Sugar has shown me that the obvious answers aren’t the right answers.
Some people are addicted to being contrarian. Whatever someone else may say, they will ALWAYS say the opposite. No matter how salient the point may be, there will ALWAYS be something wrong with the point. No matter how graciously an opinion may be offered, there will ALWAYS be a counter-offer.
Some people are quick to judge contrarians. I’m learning to love contrarians for they’ve shown me that their need to express their counter points of view flow from a belief that such expressions are necessary to their survival.
Some people are addicted to using words like ALWAYS. Even if something has happened only once, they will say it “always” happens. (I never do that. Wait. Do I?)
I’m not exactly sure what sugar has to do with all of the above, except to say that it’s made me notice so many things about common, everyday habits, patterns, and addictions. It’s our fear that makes us behave the way we do.
The fear of saying Yes.
The fear of breaking up.
The fear of being one-upped.
The fear of never.
My addiction to sweets has made me notice a lot about how I live my life, with or without sugar.
So, thank you, sweet sugar. I believe you’re teaching me how to Woman UP in ways I would not have expected from a bunch of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen atoms. Maybe you’re not so bad after all.
