It’s never true that you have no choice!

And allowing your mind to tell you that you don’t have a choice is not only crippling, it’s also…

Suffocating. 

Life sucking.

Some choices are so easy we don’t even count them as choices: We pay the bills. We stop at red lights. We make meals for the kids.

Even then we may think we don’t have a choice, but we do. Don’t believe your mind when it tells you otherwise.

And then there are those choices that are so difficult we choose to do nothing because we believe doing nothing is better than the pain that comes with making a difficult decision that upsets the entire apple cart of our lives. 

There’s danger in telling ourselves we have no choice. The real truth is this: You are not giving yourself a choice. You are not allowing yourself to make a choice. You are telling yourself this is the only option you have. 

Well, that’s a big fat lie. The moment we tell ourselves a lie like this is the moment we give up on ourselves.

Oh sure, we’ll say it’s because of “so-and-so” or “this-and -that,” but what we’re really doing is digging a deeper hole into the land of no responsibility, or as I like to call it, The Land of WTF.

BUT WHAT IF…?

What if you decided (see what I did there?) that everything is going to be based on a conscious decision to do or not do something and that you’ll own the consequences, whatever they may be, without regret, sadness, or second-guessing.

You don’t have to like your choices, but you do have to live with them, so why not choose to choose? 

If you choose to stay with him, choose it with conviction. Love him. Accept him as he is, for he has no intention of changing and you are not the boss of him. No more complaining.

If you choose to leave him, choose it with conviction. Love him. Accept him as he is, for he has no intention of changing and you are not the boss of him. No more complaining.

If you choose to go to the party, show up and be delightful. Don’t mope. Don’t whisper, “I hate this party” under your breath.

If you choose not to go to the party, that is your right. Accept that your friend is entitled to be mad or sad or disappointed. Accept the consequences without retaliation for that is neither gracious nor graceful.

If you choose to pay your bills, do so with gratitude. It’s nice having electricity and hot water and cable.

If you choose not to pay your bills, don’t get all pissy when the power gets turned off. Don’t try to be right. Indignation is so… lazy. 

If you choose to call your mother, be kind and gracious. Set boundaries with love.

If you choose not to call your mother, be kind and gracious. Set boundaries with love.

The point is to behave today in a way that, 20 years from now, allows you to be at peace with the decisions you make today.

Living with indecision, having one foot in the door and one foot out (which leaves you feeling anger and resentment and sadness), will suck the life right out of you. It will happen so slowly you won’t even know you’re losing your Self.

Having the guts to say, “I’m choosing to stay” or “I’m choosing to say yes” is a Big Girl move. It says, I own this. And 20 years from now you will be at peace because you’ll have had both feet in the same place.

Your mind is your business. Use it to make choices that work for you.